NOTE: This is a post from my old "secret blog," back in September, 2008.
Two more quotes from this New York Magazine article
“I don’t miss my old life in New York. I only miss the life in New York I know I never would have had.”
“It’s a story about reaching that pivotal moment when the dream life you imagined for yourself in New York no longer seems attainable or attractive, or simply no longer seems worth the wearying chase.”
I wish I had a clearer memory of the New York life I had imagined for myself before I moved here. But I think it’s more likely that I did not really have a clear fantasy, just a very vague one, somehow based on the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, the Late Show w/ David Letterman, and Charlie Rose. These all share a sweeping, nighttime view of New York as a fun, energetic, and sophisticated place - in the vaguest and most unattainable of ways.
So how did I picture my on-the-ground life would be here? Probably that I would work my way up at a book publisher while also becoming a famous artist or dancer; going out to clubs and restaurants with my fabulous friends; hailing cabs every five minutes; and living in some kick-ass apartment in the East Village. I’d be well-versed in music, film, fashion, and art. When I went home to visit family and friends, they wouldn’t recognize me, my transformation into the chic-est woman on the planet complete. You know, something like this:
What does my life actually look like? I work during the week, lucky enough to be able to work for myself and travel around the city going to different clients who live/work in those fancy loft apartments/studios that I imagined for myself. At night I come home to my small Brooklyn apartment and have dinner with my boyfriend. A couple nights a week I meet friends for drink or food. On weekends, J and I go grocery shopping, have a beer at the bar around the corner, clean the apartment, watch TV. Maybe we’ll go to the park, re-pot our houseplants, or I’ll do some sewing.
The last time I saw a movie? A couple months ago. Went to a museum? Probably 6 months ago. Checked out the galleries in Chelsea? Um, 3 years ago? Went to some sort of “club” or was out past 2am? I would guess 5 years ago. Do I feel guilty that I’m not taking advantage of all New York has to offer? Absolutely, but less so than I did a couple years ago. I like the life I’ve created here, I like my friends, I’m able to support myself and don’t live too far outside of my means. But really, the things I normally do in a week could be done just about anywhere.