Hello, all fellow life after new yorkers...I am new to this site and found it particularly interesting since I've been toying with the idea of leaving the city over the several months.   I can agree with many on the board about their reasons for wanting to leave - Space being high on the list. I could count many other reasons for wanting to leave too, but am sure you're all familiar...

What I wonder though is- has everyone left NYC with a significant other and a job? I ask because I'm in my 40's and newly single and would love the opportunity to jump ship but find it a little intimidating to do on my own.  Boulder would be high on my list as I've visited and fell in love with the mountains. But as I've heard, the job front isnt so hot...

Just curious how people made that final decision and if they left only once they secured a job...


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Great question! I personally left with my significant other but without a job to go to (check my blog posts for the story of my escape).

I think the level of job security you need is most likely based on the kind of work you do. I have experience as a bookkeeper and grant writer, so I knew that wherever I went, I would probably be able to find new clients. I also had a few long-term clients that I was working for remotely. But if you, say, work for a science lab, you may need to do some work-finding before you make the jump. In fact, careers like that may limit where you can move in the first place.

I think it also matters where you're trying to move. If it's a larger city, there will be more opportunity, and if all else fails you can make some cash by temping (like I did in Austin for a few months). But if it's a smaller town, it can be tricky to find any work, and often these places do not have the economy to support things like temping (this is what happened to me when I landed in Asheville).

As for being single, it was definitely comforting to me to be traveling and figuring all of this out with my partner. But I can also see how doing it alone would be really exciting, and would probably force you to get out more, meet more people, and really experience a place. Not to mention a thrilling way to reinvent yourself! (Mari left NYC after a break-up, and was just recently married to a guy she met in Boulder.)

Maybe you could try visiting Boulder (or any other place you're considering) for an extended visit - rent a furnished apartment for a month (housesitting is also an option) and make some connections, apply for some jobs, get to know the town - so the jump feels less risky.

Hope that helps a bit!

I did the opposite - left with a job but without a significant other.  My ex and I were still debating long distance when I left and ended up breaking up shortly after I moved. I wouldn't recommend that complicated path but if you are truly single, it may be a good time to move.  In terms of forging a social life in a newish city (I grew up in Toronto and moved back after 15 years away) I've found that I had to get comfortable with doing most of the initiating of both new friends and old. Patience is the key, which I lack in spades, and also getting out of your comfort zone. My social life still feels pretty lacking compared to NYC but I do know more people here than I did six months ago and push myself to call up the friend-of-a-friend or plan events that I can invite people to.

Ana - Have you made any moves toward leaving?

Hi Anna. Actually no, I havent yet made the move. 
I had some family situations that kept me in place during 
2011 and so far 2012 has been just as crazy. 
I actually don't feel the same urgency I did to escape as i did
last year.  Space is still high on the priority list but it's taken a back
Seat to finding the right job. I suppose we all have our time and 
Place for making the move. 

How about you? Are you still happy with your decisions?

It seems to be a common thing for people - or at least members of this site - to go through phases where they can't stand the city for a moment longer - and then their priorities change and they lose the impetus to move on. Totally natural, I think - and of course I don't think anyone should be pressured one way or another. So thanks for the update!

I am happy with my decision. It still pinch myself pretty frequently that I get to live in this great little town. I do still think about New York often - and often miss the walking, the energy, and my friends. But overall my quality of life is much better here. I feel like it's enabling me to expand my life experience a bit. I'm also really enjoying having my own house! After two years here, I finally feel like I'm settling in and things are coming together in a more cohesive way.

Congratulations to you Anna! It is really my dream too to own a home one day with a nice little backyard and vegetable garden and space for all the lovely furniture I hope to own after moving from my small studio.

I agree with you and think that we all have these inclinations from time to time but carry on the same way until we really can't any more. At least, I can speak that way from personal experience. Whether it be a job or a boyfriend or anything else for that matter, I generally stay until I just cant stay any longer.

It was really great of you to start this site though. I think sharing experiences this way makes those of us here know that we're not alone in our feelings about the concrete jungle and also that there is really a big world out there and plenty of room to go exploring it...

Enjoy your little corner of the globe..It sounds like a lovely place to be.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you're finding it useful.

And do keep us posted, so matter what path your decision process takes you down!


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